“三维评价指标”在课堂实践中的运用---读《激励规范写作》初中英语写作教学指南 张莉

今天与大家分享交流的这本书----《激励规范写作》是由汤青老师主编，赵尚华、张瑶老师参与编著的。它是我们一线教师进行写作教学时的指南。也是我们这两年来开展校本教研的推荐书目之一。

认真拜读完后，书中第三章“评价与批改”中所提出的作文评价的三个维度与指标（如图）对自己的实际教学有很好的借鉴作用。

课堂实践中，我开始借助这一三维评价指标（汤青，2017）来指导学生如何从内容、语言、连贯这三方面进行对初稿的修改。

现以8AU2Writing A day in Megan’s life 为例，结合三维评价指标来说明如何指导学生一起进行初稿的示范修改。

学生初稿（程度中等的）

Megan is the under-15 badminton champion in our city. She lives a healthy life.(worksheet上提供)

Firstly, Megan has a regular daily life. She usually gets up at 6a.m. She goes jogging in the park every morning. She goes to school at 7:30 a.m. She achieves B grades in her most subjects. And her best subject is P.E. because she is a badminton champion. She returns home at 4:15p.m. on foot. And she usually goes to bed at 10p.m.

Secondly, Megan is keen on sports. She plays basketball on Mondays and Thursdays. She plays badminton in gym twice a week. She goes to Sunny Sports Centre for training twice a week,

What’s more, Megan has a good habits. She always eats healthy food. She seldom eats cakes and sweets. And she never eats fried food. She is very fit.

1.      从内容上看：

学生普遍认为初稿还是比较切题的，但在内容的充实度上稍有欠缺，小作者只是将图片的内容进行了一一陈述，老师给的建议：若能将自己的feelings and thoughts 添加上一些就更好了。比如：It is important for her to have a regular daily life./ It is fun for her to do physical exercise….完整性上看，很明显，该篇习作的ending 部分没有。课上我采用了问题启发式：Boys and girls ,what do you think we can write to end the passage? For example , what can we learn from Megan ? 在老师的启发下，学生们又补充了结束语，而且做到了首尾呼应。如：

(1)We should learn from Megan to have a healthy life.

(2)We should learn how to balance our work and play from her. (学优生)

2.  从语言上看：

在实际操作时，我先指出该习作在用词、语法的准确度和句式表达的丰富程度上略显不够，然后要求学生在通读全文的基础上，小组合作去找寻这些点。有学生发现习作的第4 段中有一处语法错误，应改为“Megan has a good eating habit.”；有同学关注到第4段中表达“吃”这一概念的用词过于单一，可以用has一词交替使用避免重复；还有的同学感觉习作第3段读起来稍显生硬，全是she做主语，句式太显单调。这时，我顺势引导，怎么稍加修改就可以避免了呢？程度较好的同学提出，可将表频率的时间副词提到主语she前。我大大肯定了她的这一想法，同时鼓励学生在日后的习作中要多尝试这一方式来增强句式的多样性。

3.  从连贯上看：

小作者在分论点的陈述上使用到了合适的连接词。但我又对同学提出了稍高点的要求：再次通读习作第2段，小组合作思考：你们觉得该段读起来连贯流畅吗？讨论后，各组发表了不同的意见。如：起床、跑步、上学之间不够连贯。随后笔者运用问题提示指导学生加以修改：

(1) When does she get up?

(2) After washing and dressing, what does she often do?

(3) How long does she jog?

(4) What does she do after jogging?

…

改文如下：

She usually gets up at 6a.m. After washing and dressing, she goes jogging in the park for about half an hour. Then she puts on her school uniform, has her breakfast and at 7.30 a.m. she walks to school.

鉴于我校学生的实际情况，我带领学生示范修改几次后，再放手让学生以评价量表为标准进行互改，同学考虑修改意见后进行二稿的撰写，之后我再收集审阅，再将大家的共性和普遍性的问题在课堂上呈现出来加以强化，最终完成定稿。

    当然，我们的现状还面临着“三维评价指标”中所涉及到的其他问题，比如程度偏下学生的成句问题，程度中等同学的切题和语法错误问题，学优生的连贯性问题还有待我们教师运用自己的教学智慧去解决。